Updated 03:52 AM EDT, Wed, Apr 24, 2024

Russia Loses Contact with Satellite Containing...'Sex Geckos'

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Apparently, Russia has determined that the sexual practices of geckos in space may yield worthwhile data, so much so that they launched a satellite into orbit with geckos on board in order to better study the sexual habits of living organisms in zero gravity.

Now Russian researchers in charge of the study have announced that they have lost contact with the satellite. A moment of silence for the sex geckos is in order. 

Mashable reports that the study was part of a 60-day mission that began on July 19th from the Baikonur Cosmodrome (now that's how you name a space facility) in Kazakhstan. RIA Novosti reports that all communication with the "biosatellite" was lost the day it launched. Who could have seen that coming? 

The lost satellite's crew is reported to consist of five geckos: four female and one male. The space geckos were reportedly "packed into the Foton-M4 spacecraft so that scientists could study the effects of weightlessness on sex life and the ability to reproduce," according to Mashable.

All hope is not yet lost, though, as the Russian Federal Space Agency released a statement to RIA Novosti which claims that the lost satellite "can operate autonomously for a long time," because of "telemetry data."

Apparently this means the biosatellite will be able to automatically carry on, at least for a while. 

Russia's spokesperson for its Institute of Medico-Biological Problems, the group responsible for the study gone awry, reaffirmed that the satellite's hardware is still "operating in automatic mode." 

So, gecko fans can breath a sigh of relief. Yet the brave reptilian cosmonauts aren't out of the woods yet. It's reported that should contact not be restored with the wayward satellite soon, scientists will not be able to regain control of its engines and the ship won't be able to return to Earth safely. Instead the geckos would remain alive in space, until their two-months of food runs out. 

Apparently the geckos aren't the only biological experiment on board. The satellite also contains studies of fruit flies and mushrooms. Because, you know, sex isn't sex without flies and mushrooms. 

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